Get Your Priorities Straight!
by Eclissy
Summary: In the midst of the NulgathvsDage war, three individuals decide to look in from the outside. What begins as just an observation dissolves into a discussion about subjects that should never be touched in the times of war. This is crack basically. Sort of. Warning for language and for some mentioning of certain brain bleach worthy pairings and topics. Hope you enjoyed your sanity.
1. Chapter 1

**The title of this drabble also reflects what I should be doing in real life. Anyways, this was written during the DagevsNulgath war and if by some miracle (it'll be a miracle if anyone finds this actually) someone digs this up in the future. I wrote this on a whim and poke fun at a few things. My friend forced me to put this here instead of a blog or livejournal where I knew no one could find it. It is now unfortunately here. Well…enjoy I guess. Now excuse me while I go hide in a corner to cry. You can tell me your grievances later. Because I know you'll have them.**

**Get Your Priorities Straight!**

Thunder and lightning clashed in the darkened sky, mirroring the chaos below. The sound of metal on metal fills the air as Nulgath's army and Dage's undead legion fight for the upper hand. The sea of madness stretched on beyond the horizon and though the battle was reaching a fever pitch, an end was not yet in sight.

Looming over the battle were tall jagged stone monoliths that reached up to the dark sky. Many dotted the battlefield and on top one in particular were three lurking adventurers who had no business being there.

"Hey Ty?" the young boyish adventurer said. "Is it safe being here?" he asked his white-hooded friend. Both of them were sitting on the ledge of the monolith, spying down on the war below.

"You said you wanted to see evil's civil war and you got it," the hooded adventurer sighed, pulling back her hood. "I never said it was going to be safe but we should be fine while they're preoccupied with each other. Besides, this isn't our battle."

"I'm just worried that if they catch us…they're likely gonna kill us. If the lightning doesn't get us first." Ash said, nervously looking up at the sky.

"Correction. They'll kill you," Ty said, pulling out a pair of opera glasses. She nicked them off one of her siblings a while back so she could get a good look at the where the...action was.

"That's comforting," Ash said sarcastically.

"You know I won't let that happen," Ty smiled as an explosion goes off in the distance. "Wow! That was a nice one! You wanna see, Ash?" she offered, holding out the glasses.

"Sure." He said, taking them off of her hands. "So…aren't you supposed to be down there? I mean, this is a pretty important fight for the side of evil. You're not worried about the outcome?"

"No. Not at all. In fact, I was hoping this would happen," Ty answered, dangling her legs off of the ledge. "Whoever wins is going to prove that they are more powerful, charismatic and much more useful to the side of evil than the other. From what I've seen, both are loyal to _the Empress Gravelyn_ so this battle will benefit her and the alliance." She continues, sneering at the Empress' name, making Ash cringe ever so slightly. "Everyone was pretty uneasy when they were forced to work together. Now that everyone's made their loyalties clear, there will be less strife and the alliance can focus on the real problem at hand. Who are you rooting for?"

"No one! Whoever wins is going to cause trouble for the side of good so there's no way I'm supporting any of them!"

"Really? I saw your allies down there. They look like their having fun."

"What? Where?" Ash said, eyes darting around in vain. Rolling her eyes, Ty points down to the nearest "good" adventurer bloodily beheading a member of Nulgath's army and yelling something that no child under the age of thirteen should hear. "Is that Soluna? But…she's a paladin!"

"And looky over there. Isn't that Neil the healer impaling his staff through a legionnaire's eye socket? I think it is." Ty laughed quietly, pointing another one out. Ash began to see more and more of his allies fighting whole heartedly for their preferred evil abomination. Ash sighed dejectedly, handing back the glasses to Ty. "So tell me Ash. Who would you support if you were with your other friends down there fighting the, ehem, "good" fight?"

"…Nulgath probably."

"That's a surprising choice. So you favor the Arch Fiend," Ty commented, eyes homing in on a single target. "Why?"

"Well, he used to be Dage's master right? And he's been around longer than Dage has and I guess he's pretty menacing and powerful so that's a good reason, right?"

"You just like his stuff, don't you?"

"…Yes."

"Not surprising at all. Honestly, most of us adventurers are only here for the items and I don't blame them." Ty says wryly, tipping her head to the side to get a better look at her target. "Both of them accept mercs and it really doesn't matter where they come from."

"Well, how about you Ty? Who do you think should win?"

"…Like I said, it doesn't matter who wins. Just as long as there's a winner then I'm fine with whatever happens," She huffs, leaning over to the other side. "C'mon guy, jump or something." She muttered under her breath.

"Yeah right," A voice chimed in from behind them, startling Ash.

"Alison! What are you doing here? Ty, why did you let your little sister come? It's dangerous!" He stutters.

"I jumped through the portal behind you guys and it's not _that_ dangerous," Alison says as she plops down between them. "I was just hanging back, watching the other side of the action," After smoothing out her lacy and poofy sundress, Alison took out a worn flower print notebook and began to write on its smooth white pages.

"Geez Alison, did you dress up like a bull's eye today?" Ty joked, giggling slightly at whatever she was looking at. Alison only grumbled a tiny bit before returning her attention to Ash.

"Back to what you were asking…" Alison began, simultaneously writing in her book. "Isn't it obvious who's she rooting for?" She asks, earning a look of confusion from Ash. Disappointed, she deadpanned her answer."Dage. She's rooting for the leader of the Undead Legion." Ty tenses and tightened her grip on the glasses, trying her best to ignore her younger sister's accusation.

"Dage?" Ash suggested tentatively. "You're rooting for Dage?"

"Fine," Ty conceded. "I do favor Dage over than Nulgath. So what?"

"uh, why?" Ash asked.

"An arrogant former minion gaining power and moving to defeat his former hated master," Alison states. "Is it just me or does that sound familiar to you?" Alison mockingly asked. "You make it too easy to tell, Ty."

"Just…just shut up, Alison,"

"Oh…I see," Ash said understandingly, taking out a canteen of water.

"…That and the fact that she's been staring at his butt for the past hour." Ash, who was just taking a sip of water, sprayed his drink out in surprise and accidently let the canteen fall over the edge while Ty almost dropped the glasses.

"What? No! I-I am not staring! I swear!"

"I'm sorry. I meant to say that she was _lovingly _gazing at it," Alison teased, jotting more words on to the page. "Not even the craziest sociopath stares, smiles and giggles like you were when they look at carnage. I don't know how he doesn't notice the creeper staring at his wonder thighs."

"I'm telling you, I was not staring at Dage's butt…maybe a tiny bit," She confessed, bringing the glasses back up to her eyes as Ash stared at her with abject horror. "Okay, maybe a lot…the whole time actually."

"Ty…why? Why would you ever…he's a lich! He's just bones!" A bolt of lightning struck nearby as if to punctuate Ash's point. "He's even wearing a cape! How can you even see his…umm uhh….his stuff?"

"Sure he's a lich and all but I can tell from his armor that his hip bones are a work of art. Who am I not to stare at a fine _fine _work of art?" Ty sighs, giggling at the view. "And yeah, the cape's pretty annoying. I wish he would move around more. If only the wind would pick up and sweep the cape up again."

"Don't you have a boyfriend you should be thinking about?"

"Ouch, low blow. But that's a…working progress," Ty shrugs at her understatement, turning her attention back to ogling a dead person. "C'mon, turn around. Bend over to pick up a rock or something. Jump and attack someone. Anything!"

"Are you telling me…that the whole reason why you're here, spying down on a warzone potentially endangering me and your sister, is because you want to stare at the backside of an undead evil overlord."

"Hey, you're the one who wanted to see what was going on," Ty replied, not even hiding it anymore. "And I saw you back there, Ash. I don't think you're going to find war tactics in the jiggling cleavage of Nulgath's minions." That almost shut Ash up completely, leaving him stammering. "Do you know how hard it is to appreciate them from here? You can see pretty well if you're looking at some of the ladies down there, I mean did you _see_ that butterface with the whip? I don't know how she can jump around like that without her assets flying up and clocking her in the face. The guys on the other hand, especially the ones with capes, are a challenge. It's like a game of extreme peek-a-boo and if you're caught…actually I don't know what happens if you're caught. Most likely he'll freaking try to kill me or worse but it's worth it," Ty said, only stopping when she noticed Alison grinning knowingly and Ash' frightened expression. "Look…I've seen the shit that Milt-excuse me, that Nulgath's into and if he can be a pervert with his minions, so can I! Well technically former minion…apprentice…who's male but that doesn't matter. By the way, is it just me or did Dage get slimmer? He seems to have dropped a lot of bulk but...I don't really mind." Ty started to ramble.

"Can I see?" Alison asked sweetly, reaching out to the glasses.

"NO!" Ash yelled before Ty could reply, grabbing Alison's hand back.

"Works for me," Ty said, still concentrating on getting a good angle.

"I just can't…I'm not going to even bother." Ash threw up his hands in defeat, returning to watching the battle below.

A few moments of silence passed as the three individuals concentrated on their own endeavors whether it be quietly writing, admiring the assets of an unknowing victim or trying desperately not to look out of morbid curiosity. Instead, Ash decided to peer over Alison's shoulder, taking an interest in her work.

"…What are you writing about?" Alison smiled ear to ear at his question and Ash suddenly felt the need to run far away.

"Nothing much. Just a bunch of things…" Alison snickers. "Would you like to know?"

"…Actually, no thanks. I don't like where this is going." Turning back down to the clash of evils, Ash started to think that it was looking very inviting at that moment. Ty on the other hand felt brave that day and moved her attention to Alison's cursive lettering. Looking into the small book, she caught sight of two familiar names and began to read out loud.

"…_pinning him down on the cold floor, he leaned in close and whispered threateningly "You're mine and don't you ever…"_ Ty trailed off, expression hardening. "Alison…"

"Yes," Alison replied, smiling innocently.

"Is this…oh dear freaking…Is this-" she took a moment to compose herself, taking a deep breath in. "Is this Dage/Nulgath slash?"

"Well, it looks like I'm staying out of _this_ discussion." Ash said, scooting away as quick as he could.

"I'm asking you right now because there's no way I'm checking it again to make sure," Ty said tensely, feeling her stomach twist in horror. "Is that actually, Dage/Nulgath slash?"

"Pfft. Of course not," Alison answered, evil smile still stretched across her face. "It's Nulgath/Dage."

"I hate you."

"Is there even a difference?" Ash asked from afar.

"Yes!" both of his companions replied. "There is a _very _big difference," Ash decided that he rather not know what the difference was.

"But it isn't slash," Alison added. "At least…not yet."

"Why? Why in the burning hells would you decide to write something…something like that?" Ty demanded, flailing at the book. "It's one thing to write about pairings that you like, that's fine, but for the love of all that is right in the world, don't write about people that are real! I've talked to Dage and Nulgath before. It's pretty clear that they hate each other!"

"But that's what makes it exciting," Alison replied passionately, placing the book behind her. "Heated rivalry, terms of endangerment, intense gazing from across a battlefield, rough handling, the endless fight for dominance, the mere sight of each other making their adrenaline rush-"

"I don't think Dage, being undead, is able to produce adrenaline and I'm not really sure about Arch fiends but-"

"Shut up, Ash."

"…okay," Ash sighed, turning back to the carnage. Out of the corner of his eye, however, he caught sight of the book opened to the first page. Just imagining what was inside it made bile rise in his throat and he reached over to slam it shut. That was…until the morbid curiosity came back with a vengeance and he ever so carefully let his eyes scan over the page as the others went back to their argument.

"-not only that but they have a _history," _Alison continued much to the terror of Ty. "Master and minion; isn't that just a darling close relationship? I bet he had him on his knees _a lot_. It's just so…_umph._ "

"Stop it right now." Ty covered her ears in a vain attempt to close it out.

"And even if one of them does destroy the other, the one left standing will never ever be able to forget the other," Alison sighed dramatically, bringing the back of her hand up to her forehead and leaning back. "I'm excited for the dramatic end. I hope they get up close and _personal_!"

"Don't you think that it's just possible for them to just hate each other? No subtext, they just despise each other. Because that's way more likely" Ty shot back.

"Yeah, but that's no fun. Besides, it's just harmless speculation," Alison replied. "Foe yay is always fun to write about."

"And really implausible. I said the same thing about the other ones you wrote. There is not enough evidence. I repeat, not enough evidence. They haven't even dropped the word "feisty" yet. Or even a "You're mine!" or something along those lines. That's when I'll start to worry."

"I thought you liked them the other ones I wrote. You even kept the Warlic/Xan one under your pillow."

"How did you-…I have no idea what you're talking about." Ty denied, turning away.

"Under your pillow isn't a very good hiding place. You kept the Cysero and Lim one down there too. And the Vayle/Artix…and the-"

"Okay, I get it. You can stop now."

"And what about you and Prince Dorky McHomeless?" Alison alluded. "I really should make one like that but if anyone finds out about that one…"

"Will you be quiet!" Ty whispered lividly, slapping a hand over Alison's mouth. "And besides, that's different."

"Who's going to care?" Alison said, playfully pushing the hand away. "And what do you mean by different anyway?"

"Well…you do know that one of them is just bones while the other is a demon thing. That sounds difficult to write about…sounds really weird too." Ty explained, shuddering and wishing that the conversation would end soon.

"Oh please. I've written epics about the love between a sponge and an octopus. This shit is child's play." Alison's tone deepened as she looked down on the oblivious sparring warriors. "Remember the world we live in, Ty. Someone's eventually going to think it and I might as well be the first."

"…You know what? I'm just going to go back to staring at Dage's butt. Just do whatever," Ty dismissed, turning her attention back to more important and less brain damaging matters.

"It also helps that Dage fits into the "Starscream" character type." Alison continued, ignoring Ty.

"So we're bringing that up now are we?"

"Well you do know what people usually say about "Starscreams" and their "Megatrons," right?" Alison goaded, gently elbowing Ty. "_Right?"_

"How about we stop it here? Before I punch a bitch."

"Oh whoops! I forgot that you started to hate that little comparison a while back," Alison teased, leaning in to whisper to Ty. "Because that would mean that it could be possible that your dorky darling might have had a little somthin somthin for the late-"

"I think Gravelyn and Nulgath would make a nice pairing." Ty interrupted a-matter-of-factly.

"Fuck you," Alison turned away and crossed her arms to pout, sensing that Ty was smiling quietly from her small victory. It wouldn't last for very long.

"Since you aren't interested in reading my piece…how about I let your imagination take care of it as I read you random words-"Alison began, pulling out a butterfly-print book from hammerspace. "-from the hardcore version!"

"Shit, you wrote a hardcore version!" Ty spat out in absolute terror.

"Now let's see…" Alison flipped open the cover and smiled a smile that came straight from the abyss.

"Bound."

"Oh…ffff-"

"Pain." Alison went on.

"Stop please,"

"_Caressing,"_

"No. No."

"Gasping," Alison breathed out earning a muffled scream from Ty.

"What was that, Ty? I couldn't quite hear you. Add gags into the mix? _Whatever you want, sister dear."_ She smiled, injecting more words into her masterpiece.

"Dammit, Alison! I'll never be able to look at either of them in the eyes again!"

"I hope you only looked them in the eyes."

"Ash!" Ty yelled, looking over to their third wheel. "Why are being so quie-Wait a minute…Are you reading that…that thing! How could you!" Ty demanded, almost sure that she was hallucinating what she was seeing. Ash, sitting cross-legged and staring at the devilish notebook sitting opened in his lap.

"I…I…"Ash stammered, slowly looking up from the clean crisp pages. He looked distant, like he went somewhere far away and hadn't completely come back. "I can't believe…it's actually pretty good."

"…Holy crap, really?" Ty asked in disbelief as Alison grinned smugly.

"I-I can't…It's very good. This thing…this piece of fiction…puts their rivalry into a whole new perspective and…makes the relationship look _disturbingly_ possible. The characterization…the emotion and pictures the words paint make me want to praise it as well as throw myself off of a high tower," Ash explained, rubbing his forehead. "I was skeptical at first but I couldn't stop reading no matter how much I tried. The pacing and atmosphere were amazing. I don't want to say it but…now I might be rooting for them to get...togeth..toge..." Ash couldn't even finsh. "I'll never get the scene with the…the clawing out of my head. Never." Completely taken aback by Ash's complete change in character, Ty's jaw fell open and she couldn't even scowl at Alison.

"You should know by now, Ty," Alison chided, wagging her finger at Ty. "When it comes to my OTPs, I don't fucking mess around."

"Alison…"Ash began, sounding sort of desolate.

"Yes?"

"You didn't finish it…Could you…maybe?" He handed her back the book.

"…You want her to finish it?...Pass it here. Let me see it," Ty said, not sure what she was getting herself into.

"I knew you would come around sooner or later," Alison said, reaching out to pass Ty the safe-ish version. "I suggest reading the safer version first and reading the other when you feel more…adventurous."

"Am I going to regret this?" Ty asked, taking her time to take the book off of her sister's eager hands.

"Yes…and no," Alison said. Ash replied by covering his face with his hands and making a sound close to "mmmmmmegfffffffff."

Just as Ty's fingers brushed the cover of the book, a flash of light caught her attention. Another huge explosion went off directly next to their vantage point, creating a shockwave that swept across the battlefield. On reflex, Ty immediately grabbed ahold of Alison and Ash and dropped down on top of them to keep them grounded. Scrunching their eyes closed while trying their best to cling to the uneven ground, the three endured the shockwave of energy waiting until it died out. The moment it did, Ty got up and started to check her companions for wounds.

"Is everyone alright? Are there injuries?" Both of her friends shook their heads, still feeling a bit dazed. Cheering caught their attention and the three of them looked over their ledge to find warriors celebrating as they run down their injured adversaries. "It must have been a tactical maneuver," Ty said, using the glasses to check the area. "I'm not sure which side did it but it's only affecting this one area," Ty commented, scanning the rest of the battle grounds. "The people over on the far east side didn't notice anything and both the leaders seem unmoved so…it's just an explosion. Nothing out of the ordinary."

"Hey guys…where's the book?" Right away, they all scrambled around trying to locate the book, praying to whatever high power was looking down on them that it didn't fall over the edge.

"No one move!" Alison suddenly yelled, pointing to her book. It had slid over to the ledge and was hanging half way off.

"Alright, just move over there slowly and everything will be fi-" And of course a slight gust of wind makes the tiny, but dangerous, notebook fall over the edge as the three adventurers froze in place. Whatever high power they were praying to despised them greatly and now wished to see the universe scream when the wrong being found the book.

"C'mon guys," Ty laughed nervously. "What are the odds of someone finding that, reading it and sending it to one of the book's…main subjects?" The other adventurers on the crowded battle grounds, all hyper sensitive with a thirst for mayhem…

"I kinda made a few sketches of them in that one…" Alison smiled nervously.

Yup, they were getting the hell out of there.

**Hi there! My friend asked me to write a slash fic but nope. Nope. Sorry best friend…I can't do it. There's nothing for me to write about! I don't even ship Nulgath/Dage…I'm not shipping it…totally not going to ship it. NO!**

**I wrote this piece of crack instead! So there. **

**If anyone actually digs up this fic, let's just say that my friend's really really bad Warlic/Xan fic inspired me to write whatever the hell this is supposed to be. That fic made my eyes vomit. Several times. It was the worst, THE ABSOLUTE WORST fic I have ever read in my entire life. You troll! I know you wrote that to scar me for life and there is a special place for people like you in whatever hell there is in the afterlife. There is a very special place for you…I'm still not shipping Nulgath/Dage.**

**If any of you readers recognized Ty and Alison from my other works, well then…this is sort of a flash to the future if I decide to go into AQW after finishing the events of Dragonfable's first big chapter. Ash is in here too being somewhat OOC though that's because of character development that I haven't written down yet. Go ahead and slap me. I would slap me. I am still not shipping Nulgath/Dage…Still no…no…yes-no. No means No.**

**If anyone is curious (No one **_**is**_** Ecles, no one cares! And stop talking to yourself!) I do like yaoi, yuri, and I'll try anything once. I sometimes regret that philosophy but I manage to dig real treasures because of it. I've noticed that the AE community, especially concerning fanfics, are very conservative compared to others. That's sort of understandable given that the games are mostly aimed at children as it is rated everyone but lately the games have sort of been shifted to appeal to the older kids. But that's really not an excuse because I've seen crazier ones (and I use crazy in place of more terrifying words) in the archives for** **Animal Crossing in Livejournal. Not going to ship Nulgath/Dage ever, maybe, NO! I won't. Perhaps a little? NO!**

**...Back to the main topic. I have only one friend in the outside world that is interested in AE games and she helps me out sometimes when she isn't trying to put me in an asylum. We trade ideas and come up with pairings (het, yaoi, yuri etc) that would be easy to exploit but no one seems to have done it yet. These included the ones mentioned in the fic and the others were (I suggest you bring out the brainbleach now) the Adventurer/Lionfang, Xan/Warlic (because the order does matter), Sepulcher/Drakath (I can't believe no one's brought that one up yet), Nythera/Cysero (because we weren't thinking straight), Ash/Drakath (cause I can't picture the dork as being the top without laughing like an idiot), Cysero/Warlic or vice versa (that one's pretty easy) and many more. I hope you haven't died yet and get to read the rest of this boring Author note.**

**You know what guys? If any of you find or make an actual good fic (because making an obvious bad one is easy) about any of the mentioned pairings in this fic, I will read that fic outloud to an audience in Aqworlds. Technically I'll be copy and pasting but you understand. I'm saying it because I think it is almost impossible for any pairings that seem out of the ordinary (considering the fandom) to be good, let alone exist. If by some crazy stroke of luck that there is one out there in the world wide web, I promise that I will go through with what I said I would do. But that's not gonna happen so I'm safe.**

**Goodnight everyone! I'll scream at my mistakes later.**

**I think I ship Nulgath/Dage now…Well shit. :/**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, I decided to make a new chapter for this on a whim again. It's been a few months. Had some scenes in my head and why not just use them now. Hahahahaha, AQW you. HAHAHA. Why am I even doing this? I swear, someone's going to kick me out of the fandom one day. They'll just come to my house and be like "we can't take this shit anymore" take my computer and run. But anyway, here is the continuation. You want to know what happened to Alison's story right? So let's get this baby started. Heh. A lot of swearing in my aqw fics. Warning, brain bleach might be needed.**

**Don't misunderstand!**

"I'm here to see Nulgath. Is he free?" Ty snapped at one of Nulgaths underlings standing guard outside of the Arch Fiend's tent. "If he isn't, get him anyway. I have matters of importance to discuss with him."

Dark clouds loomed above the day after Nulgath's defeat at the hands of Dage The Evil. Tehn again, that's like every day weather around here. There was a tense mood in the war camp. Nulgath's followers were lurking around and occasionally threw Ty a curious or murderous glance.

The overall sentiment towards the Champion of Evil was divided into awe, respect, fear, malice or a mix of all. This guard had fallen into the latter categories.

The guard growled at her insolence and she repeated herself in a snarl. While the bulkily armored guard literally towered over her and leered down with five bulging red eyes, brandishing a spear that could run her through in the next second, Ty stood her ground.

"Get him now. Empress Gravelyn has sent me. And even if she didn't, I'll rip your lungs out of your ass and turn it into a fucking animal balloon if I have to," She flashes a near psychotic grin. "In fact, that sounds appealing right now. Try me, you little shit."

The guard pondered his chances for exactly three seconds before he stepped aside and opened the flap of the tent for her to enter. He heard the stories about what happened to the last person who refused The Champions demands. At first, he didn't really think that some lanky child could effectively change some poor idiot's name to "Flopply Corkscrew McDickhead" (was it his head or…nether regions that now resemble a floppy corkscrew?) for the rest of his poor immortal life with only a twist of her wrist but looking into her eyes changed his mind completely.

It was like staring into an abyss. You couldn't see the bottom but you could feel something lurking down there. Something insidious and _strange _ready to lash out at anything_. _Even for the side of Evil, it was deeply disturbing.

"That's what I thought." She laughed, nose turned up as she entered the darkened tent. It was too bad. She really needed an outlet to let out some pent up frustration.

Alison's…notebook had fallen into the fray of battle the other day and there was still no sign of it. While the legionnaires and Nulgath's minions weren't acting any different, it still made her nervous. If the notebook falls into the wrong hands, she and her younger sister would be in deep shit. Maybe even

deeper shit than what happened in Doomwood.

She was still pretty fucking pissed about that. A punching bag would be pretty nice right about now.

With Evil's Civil War going on, however, she was in no position to dawdle around. Gravelyn, having been occupied with managing her end of the truce and brooding over the events in Doomwood, had already noticed the animosity and had decided to let it run its course with some discussion with Evil's Champion.

_"I was waiting for this." _Gravelyn had once said days before, seated on her throne as Ty spoke to her from the shadows.

_"Let natural selection handle it,"_ Ty advised, nonchalantly leaning her back on the side of the throne. _"Both, as far as I've seen, are loyal to you and ousting the weaker one will ultimately be beneficial. I won't have to deal with breaking up fights anymore either."_

_ "Where do your loyalties lie?" _Gravelyn asked Ty, glancing back at her stoically.

_"The incident wasn't that long ago. You already know the answer."_ Ty replied, irritated.

After that, Gravelyn had ordered Ty to oversee Dage and Nulgath's dispute to make sure nothing went out of hand. Nothing had so far. The war was pretty orderly. Dage had gained the first win but it seemed that Nulgath had some sort of plan going. If it wasn't for that damn notebook, everything would be smooth sailings. 

The ship was nowhere near sailing smooth now. It had rammed into a hippo-shark that was now lodged in the hull and was threatening to explode into shit if the notebook isn't found.

From how Ash had described it, the story in there was a fucking masterpiece, realistic and sent unwanted chills down his spine. It seemed real enough to be true and that was why it was so dangerous.

The last few days, Alison, Ash and Ty had been desperately searching for the cursed book. Their hunt was interrupted by the win of the first battle by Dage's Legion and Gravelyn had requested that Ty pay the two commanders a visit and inform them that she would be meeting them. Gravelyn would arrive barely a moment after Ty to see how prepared they were.

Unfortunately, there was only one of Ty and she was too worried about the notebook to care much about taking the time to see both. She decided to get Alison and Ash to visit one of the commanders instead. She was planning on visiting Dage but as Alison put it:

_"There's no way I'm letting you go see Dage one on one. I'd feel much safer for him if you went to see Nulgath. The way you've been staring at his bony derriére, I'm afraid you'll lose it and steal his pelvis when he isn't looking and mount it over our fireplace."_

Ty scowled and pouted at the memory as she approached Nulgath.

The arch fiend stood at the back of the tall dark tent with his back towards Ty. There was nothing else in the tent besides Nulgath, candle stands by the sides of the tent for dramatic lighting and the Yin-Yang girls who were in the back kicking around a dummy with one of Dage's helmets on.

He was obviously expecting her.

"Isn't this a surprise," Nulgath stated, turning around to meet her stone gaze.

Liar.

Ty stepped towards him and the girls took no notice. They were too busy kicking around the Dage dummy like a hacky sack. Sighing, she coughs to clear her throat before addressing the arch fiend.

"I came to announce Empress Gravelyn's coming visit. I suppose you have something to say about your recent defeat?" Ty crossed her arms and leered at the arch fiend expectantly. In response, he rumbles out a deep laugh that held no obvious spite.

"So the Empress has noticed? This defeat is trivial at best," he strides closer intimidatingly and his shadow grew larger and more imposing. "Dage will grow much more overconfident. That was always his weakness," Nulgath said, unable to control the growl he made at the mention of Dage. "Do not expect to see him take victory again."

"Is that what you're going to say to her?" Ty rolled her eyes and glanced back at the girls. They were kicking the dummy high enough to reach the top of the tent. "She might want a better excuse than that. At least take your defeat gracefully." She looked right into his eyes for any sign of anger after giving him a reason to fight but all Ty saw was amusement.

"Your subtlety needs work."

"I am very fucking subtle." She retorted angrily before she could stop herself and cursed inwardly.

"Yes, I can see that," He humored her, talking like they were having a normal conversation between acquaintances. "But this is unusual. In fact, these last few weeks you have been acting strange. Ever since the events in Doomwood with the Empress and the Paladin, you are acting as if you have something to hide."

"What makes you think that? I've been the same as ever." Ty acted offended. "And even if I am troubled by something, it's none of your business. I didn't sell my soul to you. I don't even have a soul. Don't you have more pressing matters to concentrate on? You're being real easy going about the fact that you just lost legitimately to Dage. What are your mercs gonna think? Fighting for Dage looks mighty rewarding at the moment."

"That is not a concern." Nulgath replied calmly. "Though I am curious. Your position demands that you take no sides in this dispute. Say that you were no bound by your position. Who would you side with then?"

"This is entrapment," Ty stated, somewhat disappointed. "But I'll indulge you. I wouldn't side with either of you but I do find Dage more appealing."

"How blunt." Nulgath replied but he did not react any further.

"I'm not loyal to either of you and I haven't known you for too long so my preference is superficial at best. I enjoy Dage's style more even if he is a humorless ass. Good looking though. And I guess there's another reason too."

"And what would that be?" Nulgath questioned, motioning for her to get to the point.

Back in the corner of the tent, the girls were getting really into it. The Dage dummy was being kicked around everywhere.

"Hmmmmm, well what's the harm in telling. One of you is going to disappear anyway," Ty shrugged. "In most teacher or master against student or underling disputes, nine times out of eight I'll side with the latter."

"Is the preference also based on more…intimate experiences? You do seem to converse with my former student much more than with myself." Ty stared at him and nearly gagged. Who did he think he was now? A psychiatrist?

"Pffft, gross. He's not hard on the eyes and all but that's way too Oedipal for me," She stuck her tongue out before thinking on the comment for another second. "Maybe it'd be better to say that its half Oedipal. The way things are going now…" Ty began, wistful. "It reminds me of two very different people. One being my- 

Once again, before anything on importance was shared, an uncanny coincidence happened. One of the Yin-Yang girls, Ty wasn't sure if it was Girly or Gothy, had kicked the Dage dummy particularly hard and the dummy went flying in Nulgath and Ty's direction. The two, being too absorbed in their small talk to notice, didn't react quick enough to slap away the dummy that flew over Ty's head and hit Nulgath in the face, crotch first.

Ty jumped back in surprise towards the entrance but finding that it was just the Dage dummy sliding down Nulgath's face, she was instantly reminded of her sister's master piece. Images popped into her head and she wrinkled her nose and brought up her arms defensively as if she had just walked into a room of rotting naked corpses arranged in a human pyramid frozen mid-can can.

Nulgath, who had previously tossed the Dage dummy over to the Yin-Yang girls to pass the time with, had let the dummy slide off of his head and fall backwards with its legs still wrapped around Nulgath's neck. He stared down at the dangling Dage dummy that clung to him with its surprisingly lithe legs, confused as the others were of the situation.

That was the moment that Empress Gravlyn had decided to appear. A red portal opened up in the tent and her majesty entered, took one look at the scene before her and froze mid-greeting.

To make matters worse, the guard and another minion poked their heads in after hearing a commotion inside the tent and gasped.

"Oh gods, it's canon." One of them breathed and the other was making choking noises. Whether he was disgusted, found it hilarious or was getting sweet shipping feels, no one had the answer. One of the Yin-Yang girls, probably girly, made a sound that was either a squeak or a squee.

Ty, hearing the two, concluded that "oh shit, they read the note book!" and swiveled to meet the Empress' gaze.

"I…uh…so this…I can't explain this." Ty said by accident. It wasn't that she couldn't explain it. She just didn't want to.

"I see." Gravelyn noted, voice unchanging. "It seems that my champion and I have interrupted you at a…private time," She addressed Nulgath who was still trying to get a good grasp on the situation. Before he could say anything, Gravelyn was already turning to leave and signaling Ty to follow after.

Ty rushed through the portal, vowing never to speak with Nulgath again, and stepped into Gravelyn's throne room back at Shadowfall. The portal closed behind her and what happened after they left was now up to speculation.

"Ty. There won't be a need for me to see Dage." Gravelyn declared, unmoving as ever. With that, she just left. Turned her back on Ty and walked out the door.

"So we aren't going to ever mention this again, right? Right." Ty concludes, seating herself on one of the steps leading up to Gravelyn's throne. "Now where's the brain bleach? I need at least a lethal dose." She muttered to herself, bringing out her bag. "I'll go find Alison and Ash later."

**Author notes: Hey there, fancy seeing you. Heh, I feel more sane right now so all I can say is…nothing really. Nothing at all. Well maybe.**

**I got the idea for this continuation a while ago and I'm writing it to speed up my creative gears. I'm sort of getting writer's block for double edged so you get this instead. Joy.**

**This is also half of the actual chapter. The rest of it'll be posted later because the second half is much more different in topic then this one.**

**It's been a while since the end of the actual DagevsNulgath war so if you don't know what's going on…I guess you can look it up on youtube or try finding the cutscenes on the game.**

**Also, I don't have any plans to go through the entire AQW Storyline but maybe I'll do the occasional side story here and there. Some things are implied here that relate to double edged and the stuff that would have happened if I made an AQW serious story that isn't crack like this.**

**If you don't know what Oedipal means, then search it up. Maybe throwing that mention in there was a spoiler for my other story but…I guess that's another hint.**

**I like the next chapter more than this one. I'll get on it soon. **

**Did I mention that this whole ficcy is all crack? Like the most crude crack.**

**What this happen.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3 coming your way! I talked already at the beginning of last chapter so I'll just start the story right now. By the way, for those of you who haven't read Double Edged or Drowning, you don't really need to but it gives more background information. A lot of swearing again too. But it is rated teen after all.**

**Calm Yourself!**

"Where are they?" Laken grabbed one of the legionnaires by the collar and shook him violently.

"They couldn't have gotten far, sir! We'll get them!" Laken dropped the legionnaire on the ground and the others watched him warily. Lightning flashed overhead and thunder boomed. The commotion in the sky was nothing compared to Dage's wrath.

"What are you waiting for? Dage wants their souls to burn in eternal misery and despair. They have committed a great offence against our master. Find them. Now!" Laken snarled and the legionnaires disperse, charging off into the rocky, dark and barren wasteland of a battlefield.

Laken himself headed back to the camp ready to face Dage in all of his fury.

The scene grew quiet once again. Only the howl of the wind could be heard. And then-

"I can't believe that actually worked!" Alison laughed, amazed at herself. "But then again, my disguises are always perfect." She boasted, pulling off her disguise.

"These aren't disguises," Ash said bluntly. "We just sat here wearing paper bags over our heads while they discussed the best way to tear us to bits." Ash ripped the brown paper bag off of his head and threw it on the ground. The thing didn't even have any air holes! "Why did I even listen to you?"

"Hey, it worked didn't it?" Alison turned to Ash, annoyed. "You should be thanking me."

"Thanking you? This was all your fault in the first place!" Ash shouted angrily before clutching his nose in pain.

"How is it my fault? It's Dage's. He has like no sense of humor. He's overreacting over nothing." Alison scoffed, pulling out a potion from her satchel for Ash.

"Everything was going just fine! We went into his camp without any trouble, we were able to meet him and tell him about Gravelyn's visit without any trouble and we were about to leave without any trouble," He stressed. "-But no. You just had to do that." He complained, accepting the potion.

"Do what? Compliment him?"

"When he turned his back on us and let us go, you said "Why so tense, Sugar Buns?" before turning around and purposely letting your bag smack his behind. He freaked, swung around and fired a magical energy ball or whatever and it. Hit. ME!" Ash points to his face, shaking in fury. "Look at it! He broke my face!"

"Not your entire face. He broke your nose, cut up your cheeks and gave you a few burns and bruises with that attack." Alison corrected him, raising one finger. "And it isn't all that bad. Give it a few days and you'll look…passable." Alison wrinkled her nose and started to walk. Ash followed her lead, pulling out the cork of the potion bottle with his teeth gingerly. "But really, Dage was trying to aim for me and he completely missed. For the master of the Undead Legion, he sure is jumpy."

"Well I would be too if someone did that to me in front of all of my underlings," Ash grumbled. "You can technically call what you did sexual harassment with Dage being the victim. I just made a sentence that included "Dage," "Victim," and "Sexual Harassment." Why hasn't the sun exploded yet?" Ash groaned as they trudged on.

"Come on, Ash. I was just having fun. He should feel flattered."

"Shut up, right now." Ash warned, irritation level rising dangerously.

"Some of the other legionnaires thought it was funny. They snickered. They were pretty swell." Alison said, looking back to check if anyone was trailing them.

"Do you know what they also were? Undead. Now they're just dead. Because Dage made them explode! They are all dead!" Ash started to shout and waved his arms wildly. "All they did was laugh a little and Dage killed them because of you!"

"Whoa there. That was Dage's, not me. He's almost as big of a drama queen as Dorkath." Alison laughed, thinking back and thought to herself that Dage brought up memories of Josephine as well.

"Oh really now. How so?" Ash asked sarcastically. "How did he "react badly" to whatever little "joke" you played on him?" Ash made quotations with his fingers.

A crow cawed loudly on a nearby barren burned tree but Ash yelled at him to shut up. He wasn't having a very good day. He hadn't had a good day in a while.

"Remember that one time on Father's Day?" Alison asked and Ash muttered something close to "you're terrible" under his breath as she went on. "I morphed into a headless version of his dad while holding the severed head under my arm and snuck up on him when he was sitting on our couch waiting for Ty. I threw the head on to his lap and he freaked out before he jumped out the nearest window. Haha, we were on the third floor!" She laughed, close to hysterics. "It was just a joke and he jumped out a fucking window. That was priceless. You should have seen him." She skipped along as Ash glowered.

"I did," Ash deadpanned, not amused in the slightest. "I was walking back to the house with Ty when out of nowhere, he slammed stomach first on the ground right next to us. We were going to help him up but he sprung up before we could do anything. He was paler than a ghost, shaking uncontrollably and looked like he wanted to throw up and murder someone simultaneously. But then he noticed us, coughed, brushed the grass off of himself, grabbed Ty, hugged her right in front of me for three whole minutes, told her that he just wanted to say hi and that you-" Ash pointed at Alison accusingly. "-were "a motherfucking asshole that should go burn in a fire," his words not mine, went back inside to Ty's room, closed the door and didn't leave for _a week."_ Ash emphasized, out of breath and out of patience. "Sure he's a bastard but even for you that was pretty dang awful. Ty stopped leaving him alone with you after that. What is wrong with you?"

"Ah, Ty was overreacting too," Alison mused. "Did you know? She came straight to me, hugged me around my waist and threw me through the roof."

"Yeah, I saw. You flew straight through the roof. I heard Ty screaming something obscene at you. What was it?"

"I didn't hear. The wind was too loud." Alison shrugged again. "She was really stressed out though. That was always the problem with Ty and Kathy. They freak out over everything and half of the time it was because of each other that they stressed out so much."

"And you. All of you caused a lot of trouble for them." Ash leered at her but Alison didn't react.

"Really, they both should calm down but I guess now it's impossible because of douchekath. Just when you think he's finally grown a spine, he turns around and bam, he's the biggest tool in the shed. Again. And Ty hasn't been doing well since then. Remember last October?"

"The whole collector incident?"

"Yeah, after you both got back from your excursion, Ty was acting strange," Alison commented. "We were relaxing by the fountain with Ty sitting on the side in near fetal position. A bard came by and started playing on his...what are those things called?"

"A lute?"

"Yup, that's right. It was a lute."

"I was there too y'know." Ash sighed, frustrated.

In fact, nearly everyone in Lore was there. Everyone saw or at least heard of Ty's mental breakdown back in October.

It was a pretty sunny day in Battleon. Not a cloud in the sky and the temperature was perfect for anything from monster hunting to calling Ash a noob. But then again, any day was a good day to call Ash a noob. Years had passed and not one day was a bad day to call Ash a noob.

Ty, however, just got back from dealing with the collector incident with Ash. Both were…

"The sun is too fucking bright," Ty said through chattering teeth, shielding her eyes from the cursed sun. "I can't even fucking see."

Ash may have heard her but was already half way slipping into the fountain while making a death rattle in the back of his throat.

Needless to say, everyone else kept their distance.

"Cheer up, babes," Alison tried to shake them back into reality but only succeeded in pushing Ash into the fountain. If she didn't pull him back up, he would have let himself drown. It was just that kind of day. "I made cupcakes guys! And I promise, I didn't make them out of people named Mary this time."

"Listen to la belle chérie mon amis," A bard walks over dressed in bright colorful attire unique to Mythsong. Strumming his lute, he knelt by the three and cooed "What is the matter my dears?" The bard performs a tune of a mournful aria.

Alison, pleased by the attention, clasps her hands together and brought them up to her cheek in a sign of appreciation.

Ty just started to mutter about how too fucking bright was and that she wanted to go home and eat while Ash just stared off into space. Every now and then, for a split second he would get a pained expression like he had caught his foot in a bear trap but then it would disappear into the void without leaving a trace like his hopes and dreams had.

"Oh mon dieu, it seems much worse than I thought. What has happened to these poor souls?" The bard asked sorrowfully.

"Don't mind them, ever since the incident they've been like this. In fact, you guys didn't actually tell me exactly what it was." Alison glared at her companions and Ty glared back with double the intensity and discontent while Ash just slid back into the fountain.

"Was it a lover's spat?" The bard tries guessing. Ty tsked and turned her head away while Ash burst out into near maniacal laughter.

"Hahahahahahhahahaaaahahaahahaahahahaha," He inhaled sharply. "Hahahahahahahahahahaah, a spat." He chuckled like it was the funniest joke he heard in years.

"Ah, right on the first guess," The bard closed his eyes thoughtfully and sighed. "It's almost always the reason."

"You don't even know the half of it." Alison giggled evilly behind her hand, trying to muffle the sound.

"Shut up, Alison." Ty scowled darkly, balling her hands into tight fists.

"Fine ladies like you shouldn't be this way or feel this way," the bard chided, moving closer to Ty. Alison thought Ty was going to hiss at him but all she did was stare at his lute and went into deep thought. "Perhaps a song will ease you. Or maybe you'd like to learn how to express your feelings. It is quite cathartic. I'd think it would soothe your troubled soul."

Ty raised a brow at the colorful bard weighing whether punching him in the teeth of kicking him in the teeth would get him to go away. An idea popped in to her head suddenly and she reached out towards the bard's lute.

"Give it here." She beckoned, expression blank and desolate.

"You know how to play?" The bard and Alison asked at the same time. Ash was just blowing bubbles in the fountain.

"When did you learn?" Alison tried asking further but the lute was already in Ty's hands and she strummed.

A perfect E major sang from the lute. She strummed the beautiful E major again and again….and again and again. In fact, she didn't know any other chords besides E major. Work with what you got they say.

Around the ten minute mark of the endless E major, the bard tried to ask her if she wanted to learn some other chords but something unearthly and ethereal came out of her mouth.

Ty began to sing. Words that caught the ears of all the citizens in Battleon rang across town. Eyes widened to the splendor of such supernatural lyrics that shook each and every one to their very core.

"_**Fuuuuuuuck,**_

_**Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk,**_

_**whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy,**_

_**FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK,**_

_**WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII , FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUCK**_!"

"Hey, are you-"

"**WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYY,**

**Son of a FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! "**

The bard, Ash and even Alison gaped at her loud wailing, which was of course in perfect E major, and so did everyone else. Someone would have stopped her immediately if it wasn't for the fact that it was so bizarre. She just kept strumming that same E major chord and doing _that_.

"Ah, mon chérie?" The bard tried to get her attention. A large crowd was gathering.

**_"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuUuUuUuUuUuUC CCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!"_**

Unfortunately, she was really getting into it.

And so was everyone else.

The song was so simple yet extremely deep. It spoke to everyone.

Just came out of a messy break up? This was your song.

Lost your job for no fucking reason? This was your song.

Your burrito that you've been standing in line for the past three hours for dropped on the ground? This was your song.

Stubbed your foot on a log? This, again, was the song that spoke truth.

Mesmerized by the song that sang through everyone's souls, they all gathered around the fountain. The bard watched in horror as Alison doubled over in laughter.

"Aren't you going to stop her?" The bard moved behind Alison to protect himself.

Already the groupies were coming to lie by Ty's feet. Someone in the back was crying and laughing hysterically about injustice and the meaning of life being forty two.

"Oh don't worry," Alison breathed, trying to keep herself from breaking back into laughter. "She'll get tired eventually."

Eight hours later, the sun was going down and she was still going. If anything, Ty was getting more energetic and now she was basically screaming. And so was the huge crowd. They were egging Ty on and wailing along as well.

"Tragically beautiful." Alison shook her head at the on-going scene and wiped away an imaginary tear.

"Where are the guardians?" The bard sobbed in fetal position beside Alison as she watched the chaos. It wasn't bad right now. The audience was being orderly and just watching and singing along badly. All of that could be kicked up a notch with the right push.

The captain of the guardians of Battleon was right at the front, singing along after he found out that one of his charges ate the pudding he left in the fridge for lunch earlier that day.

"Hey mister, stand up please?" Alison smiled down pleasantly at him, amping up the charm.

"Yes?" The bard looked up and began to stand. Alison grabbed his shoulders, hauled him up and shoved him towards Ty. The bard stumbled too close and Ty noticed mid-lyric.

In an instant, Ty swung the lute and it collided with the bard's jaw. The bard gets knocked on his back and Ty pounds on him with the lute, his arms flailing up every time it hits.

"You. Stupid. Son. Of. A. Bitch!" She emphasized each word with a strike of the lute. "What the hell do you mean "I don't remember who you are," god fucking damn it! I was the one who fucking de-flower-" The rest of her sentence was blocked by one of the bard's screams. "All of the shit that everyone had to go through and now we have to go through more? What the fuck is wrong with you?" She shouted angrily at the idiot who wasn't there. "You. Are. Useless!"

Ty suddenly stopped in mid-strike, contemplating before going back to wailing on the poor bard.

"Sorry." She struck the bard again. "That. Was. Overdoing. It. BUT YOU ARE STILL A MOTHER FUCKER!" One last strike obliterated the lute into a shower of woodchips. The bard was a whimpering mess and Alison was practically rolling on the ground with glee. Ash was still moping in the fountain.

At that point, the crowd had decided that the best course of action was to start an all-out brawl. Fists flew, kicks were landed and all pretense of civility was hanged, drawn, quartered, set on fire and forced through a cheese grater.

Every warrior, mage, cleric, rogue, civilian, horse, leg and cup of coffee was going on a rampage. Smoke began to rise from the fray and a cow was thrown into the air. People were taking out their past frustrations on each other and if "Waltz of the Flowers" was playing, the whole scene could have been called discordantly graceful by a sociopath.

"What do you mean it was my fault? I wasn't the one who decided that it was a good idea!" A warrior landed a right hook to the mage beside him.

"That was my kill you free-loader!" A rogue elbowed a cleric by the fountain.

"I told you that was my mom, you freak!" A dragon slayer threw a warrior across the crowd.

"Eh Macarena!" Some person yelled gleefully. No one was sure exactly of what that person was doing but only that it involved the Macarena and a stuffed blue cat.

"You suck dicks!" Ty swung the neck of the lute at a passing brawler. A grin was plastered on her face and Alison smiled harder.

Mission accomplished.

The brawl didn't stop until everyone was on the ground either passed out or just exhausted. By then, the bard had fled the scene and no one saw him ever again.

"That was one great party," Alison smiled to herself, back to the present. "We went home and ate my cupcakes too. They were made of people named Josh that time. I guess you guys didn't like the Mary ones."

"What was that?" Ash asked, not catching what Alison had said, being too absorbed into his own memories.

"Nothing. Nothing at all," Alison shook her head and kicked aside a rock. "But you know, you guys never told me why you were so high strung that day. You looked so grumpy and scary I was afraid you'd kill someone."

"You're the one worried about that?" Ash said, sarcasm dripping down his chin. "But didn't we tell you about the…_collector_ incident."

"Refresh my memory."

"That October…Ty and I got caught by this inter-dimensional time traveler guy who liked to collect people with great fates. Among the people caught were myself, Ty, these band members and…" Ash grimaced, clenching his teeth together.

"And? And who, Ash?" Aaaaaaaaash." Alison complained, grabbing Ash's arm and shaking it.

"It was…well who do you think it was?" Ash asked her, irritated at himself and at that idiot. "Who do you think works Ty and I up so much?"

"How did he get caught?" Alison asked, surprised. "Or…you said that collector guy was a time traveler, right?" Alison began to smirk mischievously. "How old did our idiot loser look?"

"Ten probably." Ash wiped a stray droplet of blood that dripped from his still healing nose and stared straight ahead.

"Ooooooh. So you ran into Baby D?" Alison poked Ash in the cheek. It should have hurt like bejeezus but Ash didn't notice. "You certainly came out of it drained. What about Ty? How did she react?"

"It was like any other quest thingy. She was fine but then he came out of that house and…"

"What? What did she do?" Alison grew excited, bouncing up and down as they walked.

"I was surprised actually. She didn't do anything too drastic like that time we went to the Mirror Realm. Ty took one look at him, stared for three seconds and walked off to go chop down a tree.

"What?"

"She took one of the axes out of her bag, walked away and started to chop down a tree."

"But why?"

Ash shrugged.

"I have absolutely no idea."

"Then what happened! Give me all the details!" Alison demanded enthusiastically. "What did she do with baby Derekath Tsunwrath?"

"Did you run out of nicknames for him?" Ash sighed, dragging his feet along as they walked. "Why are we avoiding using his name anyways?"

"I've had it up to here with Lost Lenore's, y'kow," Alison said, becoming serious. "It's because-" Alison halted abruptly, raising her arm in front of Ash to stop him. She looked towards the horizon in the distance and watched it cautiously

"Is something happening?" Ash asked, frightened.

"I'm not sure. I just felt something go-"

Just then, a huge explosion goes off miles behind them. Even then, it was enough to fling them forward and off of their feet. The sound of the blast resembled that of a furious roar. The force of that outrage threw Ash and Alison across the barren field into a column of stone and Ash broke some of his ribs.

Alison was completely fine and laughed at the sound of cracking bones because injuries were funny.

A cloud rose from the site of the explosion. Instead of being mushroom shaped, it was the shape of a skull which slowly dissipated into a pillar of smoke vaguely resembling two baguettes wrapped around each other.

As the two fell to the ground when the power of the blast's shockwave wore off, Ash groaned cupping his hands over his ears and wincing at the ringing in them. Alison, unfettered and composed, stood up and examined the rising smoke in the distance.

"Looks like somebody was mad." She commented, whistling.

"Was it Dage?" Ash groaned, feeling his cracked ribs.

"Dage's camp is in the other direction. That was Nulgath." Alison explained, kneeling beside him and putting a hand on his side. She muttered a few words and her hand glowed golden as it healed the bones.

"Ty was going there. Is she okay?" Ash became worried.

"She's fine. I don't feel her distress," Alison shook her head. "But yikes, Nulgath's usually more level headed. Whatever happened must have really…"

"The notebook!" They both came to the same conclusion and Ash quickly stands up. Getting dizzy, he almost collapses on the ground again but Alison catches him.

"Whoa there now. Looks like we'll have to get out of here really quick," Alison materializes a red portal with a wave of her hand, much to Ash's disbelief and exasperation.

"Why were we walking then?"

"I wanted to walk and talk." Alison wrapped Ash's arm around her shoulder and helped him up.

"…Fine. But do you really think that explosion was because of your notebook?"

"We'll find out eventually," Alison said as they stepped through the portal and into the courtyard of Shadowfall.

The two came face to face with Empress Gravelyn. Ash was about to salute in respect to her but froze when he saw what was in her hands. A very familiar book was opened in the Empress' hands. All three stared at the book in silence before the Empress calmly closed the book and hid it behind her back.

Ash and Alison, sensing the awkwardness of the situation, nodded slowly to her respectfully, turned away and headed off to the throne room.

Gravelyn watched them go and waited until they were rounded the corner before she took the book out again. She flipped to the page that she was previously on and read.

Her expression contorted in disgust and she raised her hand to set the book on fire but stopped, sighed deeply and continued reading.

"I hate you." She whispered to the book as she reread the same scene for the twentieth time. The clawing scene was never going to leave her mind.

**Author notes: And that was part 2. Ha…**

**I've got nothing much to say besides the fact that I should get back to double edged so I hoped you enjoyed this snippet of a crack fic.**

**I might be tempted to continue with this story or play with a few more AQW scenarios one day… Wow, I'm drained.**

**So thanks for reading and see you some other time. (I can't think straight at five in the morning. Excuse my incoherency).**

**Earl Grey Tea and Shrimp Chips are delicious. **


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